Grudge
by Cryptographic DeLurk
Summary: Once upon a time, they called Lulu immature. "She never forgave Lulu for what that happened after that either." Ginnem/Lulu.


**Grudge**

by _Cryptographic DeLurk_

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Before she came back tempered and sombre and began dressing herself in perpetual mourning, they called her immature. She carried around a collection of dolls, far past her childhood. And when she ran away capriciously, she took them with her strapped to her back in a line – Moogle, Cactaur, Moomba, Kitty.

Ginnem needed the permission of her Temple Master in Kilika, of course, and that of the Fayth. But Lulu needed no one's permission to leave but her own. She'd long since mastered the skill of nodding along when others were talking without taking in a word, and she was half convinced that Besaid was happy to be rid her – wilful mind and hungry body. There was no place for her here, not as she was.

She wrapped herself in red and pink, tied bright charms into her cornrows and resolved not to take them out for a month. She showed her penpal the waterfalls and caves around the island, swung the rope bridges as they crossed, and then they boarded the ferry and left.

Death hadn't seemed so personal to her then – the memories of her parents were indistinct enough to make them spectres more than people. So she didn't think about the inevitable end of the journey, not in the chattery and anxious way she and Wakka and Father Zuke had on their pilgrimage, nor in the silent determined way they all had on Yuna's. Truthfully, she thought that if they were going to die, it would be together. She thought Ginnem and her would tumble together down into the Farplane, and pin each other against the pyreflies and flowers. And let that tragic (and romantic) truth be a warning to little Yuna at home: don't follow.

Lulu hadn't imagined it might be just Ginnem. Or just herself, alone in that cavern and surrounded by fiends and death, down to her last spell and only enough strength to drive away what was right in front of her and flee.

She'd shaken like a leaf, at the Port in Bevelle, but Wakka and the others were happier to see her and welcome her home than she thought they'd be. She pulled her newly buxom figure into fur and black leather and dark lipstick that were meant to make her intimidating and unapproachable, but only half worked (Chappu took it as a challenge). She kept her dolls, but nobody seemed to take it as a sign of naiveté anymore.

At some point, everyone forgot who she was before that. It wasn't like what she and Chappu became, with Wakka standing by to narrate the entire rise and fall of that dynasty, before Chappu died and Lulu had to remake herself into something a little more calloused yet again. She wasn't sure Wakka had ever cottoned on to the fact that her and Ginnem were involved in the first place. He had such a knack for not seeing what was right in front of his face if it didn't suit him.

But Lulu remembered:

They had almost been turned away from the Chocobo stand on Mi'ihen Highroad. Ginnem had lost her passport, and looked so dark and poor that no one would believe she was a summoner until she called Ifrit up from the ground right under their feet.

They gave them one Chocobo to share, and Lulu sat aside in the back, clinging to Ginnem's waist with one arm, and to her Moomba doll with the other. She used her magic to condense wisps of ice from the ambient humidity in the air.

"You can stop laughing at me now," Ginnem said.

"I wouldn't know what you mean," Lulu feigned ignorance, even as a chuckle caught the falling edge of her statement.

"Fine! Laugh at me all you like. Only your shabby and unprofessional appearance was as much to blame for that fiasco as I was, if not more."

Lulu was filled with mirth thinking of the edges of the wooden stand singed by Ifrit's fire. The comical way the moustache of the Yevonite border guard wrinkled. Ginnem standing there fists clenched, forehead scrunched so the white eye painted there closed shut. Visage of rage, and yet so petite and pretty.

"If you say so," Lulu agreed. She kept her eyes trained on the pyreflies swarming around her doll.

"I do say so," Ginnem replied. "You've held us back this entire time. Some guardian, dressed in red like a harlot. Standing to the side and watching and laughing as I struggle to keep us on course."

The air around them heated and chilled as Lulu alternated drawing in fire and ice magic. The Chocobo wavered uneasily and ruffled its feathers, but continued on its path forward.

"You should stop that," Ginnem added, more neutrally. But Lulu interrupted-

"Oh? And what about you? You look ridiculous in that dress, like a purple fuchsia flower." Lulu pressed herself against Ginnem's back, and sighed into her ear. "It makes me want to peel back your petals, and see what's underneath."

She felt Ginnem stiffen under her and, satisfied, Lulu laughed and pulled away. She resumed practising her magic, thunder this time. Electricity crackled around them in small sparks in the air, and the Chocobo did a small jump and squawked.

"I mean it, Lulu," Ginnem warned. "If you spook this Chocobo and we have to walk the rest of the way, I'll never forgive you."

Lulu took it as a challenge and when, a few minutes later, she finally succeeded in doublecasting her magic – Thunder and Blizzard, so the ice sparkled and exploded in little baubles – the Chocobo reared and trashed and threw them and their luggage to the ground.

"I'll get you for that!" Ginnem howled.

But Lulu was one step ahead. She rolled through her fall, and ran into the grass that had sprouted up everywhere between the ruins. Ginnem chased after, and some five minutes off the road where she caught up, she tackled Lulu down and pinned her and kissed her hard enough to bruise.

But, true to her word, she never forgave Lulu. Even much later, after they'd passed Djose and Guadosalam and Bevelle, she would complain about how Lulu had scared away their ride, and in the process lost them half their supplies and given them blisters from so much walking.

She never forgave Lulu for what that happened after that either. Not for anything, and certainly not for what happened in the Gorge beneath Gagazet.

..


End file.
